To Mom:

With Mother's Day around the corner, I am forced to reflect on both of my experiences with motherhood; being a daughter and a mom. I definately never understood my mother more than I did after having my daughter. I never understood why she said and did the things she did. Now I know it was and is because she loves me.

I realize now how much stress she really went through. The stress of watching out for me. Hoping I don't get into trouble or get hurt. Knowing that some of that she could not prevent and praying that she could at least be there to help kiss my boo boos. Stressing over my education and wanting the very best for me. Knowing that she might not be able to give me everything I want and how it tortured her to tell me "no" sometimes. When I moved away and out of her immediate reach I can only imagine how much that scared her. Being the daughter I couldn't understand why she wanted me close to home. Being a mother, I get it.

Just like I tortured my mother sometimes, I can see my daughter doing the same thing. A specific instance this afternoon actually reminds me of how as a daughter the perspective is different. My daughter requires drops in her eyes to help her body fight off the conjunctivitis (aka pink eye) that is very persistant in her eyes. At 8 months old she doesn't understand nor can I communicate to her the importance of these drops. 4 times a day I battle with her to get these drops in her eye. Her perspective is that I am doing something unpleasant to her and she pushes me away as much as she can when she sees that little bottle. As her mother I know the importance of what is going on and the necessity of this unpleasant experience. I know she needs these drops to help clear up her eyes and prevent more infection. I know that I am doing this because I love her and want her to get better. Being a mom, I now get it.

How many times did I go through something unpleasant because it was what was necessary and because mom loved me and wanted me to get better? I'm finding that moms are often one of our best examples of God's love. The love is unconditional and bears many many things. Sometimes we must go through unpleasant experiences not fully understanding why. But mom and God love us enough to help us do what is necessary, even though it is unpleasant.

At the end of the day I never remember all the little battles with my little one. I only remember the smiles, giggles, and laughter. How she looks as she is sleeping and the excited look she gets when she has found something interesting (cat, shoe, block, my phone, anything!). Watching her learn and grow literally before my eyes is one of the best experiences of my life. Being a mom, I now get it.

Thanks mom for everything. Thanks for being the awesome person you are and setting the bar high. I wouldn't be the person I am today without you and your endless patience, love, and perserverance. Love you mom!!!